Look how relieved the people are to have their shoes on again.
I met the most beautiful woman in India today. We were touring Delhi and as my tour book had been left in a bag with the hire car that was now back in Agra, I had no idea what to see. There’s actually nothing in Delhi that had piqued my curiosity unlike the rest of India, even though it is the biggest city.
Delhi is a Garden of Eden compared to the other parts of India. Going to Delhi is like going to New York City, highly unrepresentative of the country. The streets are clean and wide, the gardens are flowering, and the buildings in good repair. Kinda the opposite of New York actually. I was in heaven.
So our driver takes us to the Ba’hai temple. Wait a minute, I got the apostrophe in the wrong place. Bahai’ temple. No, that’s not right either. Baha’i temple. Who the heck names a religion with an apostrophe in it? Why didn’t God give them a name with proper spelling?
This temple is shaped like a lotus and quite striking looking. It sits in some beautifully sculpted gardens and somebody cleans up the trash. I’ve noticed that many of the most beautiful places are walled compounds that have somebody who cleans up the trash. Now they just need to keep expanding their walls until the whole country is cleaned up.
The most curious thing about the Baha’i temple is the test everyone must pass to see if they are worthy of entering. The stones of the walkway are dark brown and absorb the 115 degree heat of the scorching sun and I daresay magnify it. But again, you have to take off your shoes to get inside. They have mats over the hot stone walkway, but even the mats are hot and you are getting first degree burns on your feet. The bare stones mean second degree burns.
The first test comes as you give your shoes to the shoe check people in a low building about 30 meters from the temple. Now you have about twenty feet of blazing hot rock to go before you can get to the mats. People are hopping and skipping around like spasmodic ballet dancers. I guess this is the first test of the Baha’i faith, walking across hot coals.
Nobody notices the temple anymore, everyone is concentrated on keeping themselves on the mats and looking for those areas where some Baha’i saint had poured water on them. Even the rope mats are blazing hot. But luckily where they’ve poured water it can reach no higher than 212 degrees Fahrenheit.
We finally make the suffering 30 meter trek to the temple entrance and get ready to go in. Then they stop and give us a lecture about what to do and not do. The standard, no shoes, no talking, etc., etc. Once inside it is just one big room with chairs facing the center with a lectern. We sit down in silence and wait for the act to begin.
Nothing happens. Good grief, they’re not even going to try to convert us? At least the Mormons show you a giant blonde haired, blue eyed, Jesus. Don’t you guys have a slide show? There’s nothing to look at but the lectern? At least give us a foot high Ganesh. We sit awhile longer and then decide to leave.
The way out is much more dangerous than the way in however. There is a ten foot section between the shade of the temple and the mat leading away from the temple back to our shoes. The mat is already packed with people in a long line to get their shoes, there’s no room there. The hot coals will fry your feet in seconds.
People break in small packs when an opening appears on the mat, even getting toward the edge of the shade is hot so you’re hopping from foot to foot while you wait. And this is India after all, there’s no concept of orderly waiting your turn, people push past you or around you if they see one centimeter of mat appear.
It’s very similar to watching the movies of the antelope trying to cross the crocodile invested waters in Africa. Some make it, some don’t, and it’s just as painful.
It’s now or never, I break with the next pack. But my polite American instincts kick in with the ladies. The men have shoved their way onto the mats, the ladies bring up the rear and I allow them to pass. But I cannot take the pain. There’s no more mat space left. Joining them on the mat may mean assaulting somebody’s wife and I dare not do that. I flee back to the safety of the near shore (the shade) dancing the dance of a psychotic madman and shouting Celtic curses and oaths the whole way. Everybody laughs at the stupid American. With the next pack I made it out to my wonderful protective shoes, but boy, I will never forget those coals.
At least I’ve had one religious experience, enlightenment if you will, in India. I resolve never to take off my shoes again.
Luckily we found a visitor’s center as I’d only heard that Baha’i was an offshoot of Islam and I knew nothing about it. Maybe somebody here knows what’s going on.
This woman dressed in a beautiful traditional Indian Sari was talking to a group of Indians in perfect Queen’s English explaining the religion to them. She was gorgeous. Her father was Scottish, her mother Iranian. She had big brown eyes, perfect skin, a Venus with both arms. I was ready to convert.
She explained that in 1843 a guy in Iran named Siyyid Alí-Muhammad declared that he was a John the Baptist like character , he was to be called the ‘Bab’, and he was preparing the way for another ‘manifestation of God’. Other manifestations were Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, etc. So the Baha’i believe other Religious prophets were valid.
But they believe there will be further prophets and they believe in the ‘unity of God’, ‘unity of religion’, ‘unity of mankind’.
What she was saying, like all religions sounded so wonderful at first. Love, peace, joy, tranquility. Aaaaahhhhhh.
Then she started talking about the ‘manifestation of God’ in the form of a guy named Baha’u’llah. Oh good grief, God’s chosen one has two apostrophe’s in his name? Is God having fun with us? Hopefully he won’t send a prophet from Denmark and we’ll have to deal with glottal stops too.
It turns out somewhere in Israel there is a picture of Baha’u’llah which she described as the only photograph of a manifestation of God on Earth and if you go there you can view it.
“Why don’t you guys just scan it and post it on the internet? That way the whole world can see the Manifestation of God?” I asked.
“It’s a very holy thing” she responded.
That’s a first, I’ve heard of holy buildings, but this is the first time I’ve ever heard of a holy photo. Not only that, photographs decay, all the more reason to scan it.
Another guy came up and the two of them went on a full court press to convert me. Baha’u’llah died a natural death and his son spent forty years in prison until his release and then he toured the world, including the U.S. to spread the religion. Thousands died as martyrs for the religion. They all went peaceably by the way, they didn’t take up arms. They also seem a bit too proud of their martyrs voluntarily going to their execution. Your religion ain’t gonna last long that way.
The religion originated in Iran, but due to persecution moved to present day Israel. The world Baha’i headquarters is in Haifa, Israel. Those poor Israeli’s, they have a fourth religion they have to contend with?
In a little known event of the Iranian revolution, when the Ayatollah Khomeni took power he put all the Baha’i up against the wall as heretics of Islam. Who’s going to notice when you’re executing so many?
Then this splendid creature told me the story of the Bab, the first guy I mentioned. He was sentenced to death by the Shah back then. A firing squad of 750 men was produced, I guess they wanted to be sure. I can’t imagine how you can arrange 750 men to all fire at the same time without them hitting each other somehow. They came to get the Bab and he was dictating his last instructions to his secretary in his cell. He said, “The execution is not scheduled for another five minutes, please give me this time with my secretary and then I’ll go”.
They refused and dragged him out to be executed. The soldiers fired and a huge cloud of smoke obscured everything. Seven hundred and fifty rifles produced a lot of smoke in those days. When the smoke cleared they were shocked to discover that his body was nowhere to be found. I figured he was blown to smithereens, but I was told I was wrong. When they searched around they found him alive and back in his cell with his secretary. He wasn’t ready to go yet.
They had to bring in another group of 750 men to perform the execution again because the first batch were perturbed and couldn’t be enticed to repeat it. This man was obviously from God. The second time they got the execution right.
The beautiful woman looked at me, her face so radiant and her eyes wide after telling the story.
“This is true”, she said, “There were witnesses”.
Oh dear girl, don’t you realize you could have replaced Inga and her heavenly lotions? We could have been so happy waltzing among the stars? And then you tell me I should accept this story? I hide my grief and I turn to leave. Every religion has to have its crazy side, otherwise nobody will believe it.
Delhi is a Garden of Eden compared to the other parts of India. Going to Delhi is like going to New York City, highly unrepresentative of the country. The streets are clean and wide, the gardens are flowering, and the buildings in good repair. Kinda the opposite of New York actually. I was in heaven.
So our driver takes us to the Ba’hai temple. Wait a minute, I got the apostrophe in the wrong place. Bahai’ temple. No, that’s not right either. Baha’i temple. Who the heck names a religion with an apostrophe in it? Why didn’t God give them a name with proper spelling?
This temple is shaped like a lotus and quite striking looking. It sits in some beautifully sculpted gardens and somebody cleans up the trash. I’ve noticed that many of the most beautiful places are walled compounds that have somebody who cleans up the trash. Now they just need to keep expanding their walls until the whole country is cleaned up.
The most curious thing about the Baha’i temple is the test everyone must pass to see if they are worthy of entering. The stones of the walkway are dark brown and absorb the 115 degree heat of the scorching sun and I daresay magnify it. But again, you have to take off your shoes to get inside. They have mats over the hot stone walkway, but even the mats are hot and you are getting first degree burns on your feet. The bare stones mean second degree burns.
The first test comes as you give your shoes to the shoe check people in a low building about 30 meters from the temple. Now you have about twenty feet of blazing hot rock to go before you can get to the mats. People are hopping and skipping around like spasmodic ballet dancers. I guess this is the first test of the Baha’i faith, walking across hot coals.
Nobody notices the temple anymore, everyone is concentrated on keeping themselves on the mats and looking for those areas where some Baha’i saint had poured water on them. Even the rope mats are blazing hot. But luckily where they’ve poured water it can reach no higher than 212 degrees Fahrenheit.
We finally make the suffering 30 meter trek to the temple entrance and get ready to go in. Then they stop and give us a lecture about what to do and not do. The standard, no shoes, no talking, etc., etc. Once inside it is just one big room with chairs facing the center with a lectern. We sit down in silence and wait for the act to begin.
Nothing happens. Good grief, they’re not even going to try to convert us? At least the Mormons show you a giant blonde haired, blue eyed, Jesus. Don’t you guys have a slide show? There’s nothing to look at but the lectern? At least give us a foot high Ganesh. We sit awhile longer and then decide to leave.
The way out is much more dangerous than the way in however. There is a ten foot section between the shade of the temple and the mat leading away from the temple back to our shoes. The mat is already packed with people in a long line to get their shoes, there’s no room there. The hot coals will fry your feet in seconds.
People break in small packs when an opening appears on the mat, even getting toward the edge of the shade is hot so you’re hopping from foot to foot while you wait. And this is India after all, there’s no concept of orderly waiting your turn, people push past you or around you if they see one centimeter of mat appear.
It’s very similar to watching the movies of the antelope trying to cross the crocodile invested waters in Africa. Some make it, some don’t, and it’s just as painful.
It’s now or never, I break with the next pack. But my polite American instincts kick in with the ladies. The men have shoved their way onto the mats, the ladies bring up the rear and I allow them to pass. But I cannot take the pain. There’s no more mat space left. Joining them on the mat may mean assaulting somebody’s wife and I dare not do that. I flee back to the safety of the near shore (the shade) dancing the dance of a psychotic madman and shouting Celtic curses and oaths the whole way. Everybody laughs at the stupid American. With the next pack I made it out to my wonderful protective shoes, but boy, I will never forget those coals.
At least I’ve had one religious experience, enlightenment if you will, in India. I resolve never to take off my shoes again.
Luckily we found a visitor’s center as I’d only heard that Baha’i was an offshoot of Islam and I knew nothing about it. Maybe somebody here knows what’s going on.
This woman dressed in a beautiful traditional Indian Sari was talking to a group of Indians in perfect Queen’s English explaining the religion to them. She was gorgeous. Her father was Scottish, her mother Iranian. She had big brown eyes, perfect skin, a Venus with both arms. I was ready to convert.
She explained that in 1843 a guy in Iran named Siyyid Alí-Muhammad declared that he was a John the Baptist like character , he was to be called the ‘Bab’, and he was preparing the way for another ‘manifestation of God’. Other manifestations were Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, etc. So the Baha’i believe other Religious prophets were valid.
But they believe there will be further prophets and they believe in the ‘unity of God’, ‘unity of religion’, ‘unity of mankind’.
What she was saying, like all religions sounded so wonderful at first. Love, peace, joy, tranquility. Aaaaahhhhhh.
Then she started talking about the ‘manifestation of God’ in the form of a guy named Baha’u’llah. Oh good grief, God’s chosen one has two apostrophe’s in his name? Is God having fun with us? Hopefully he won’t send a prophet from Denmark and we’ll have to deal with glottal stops too.
It turns out somewhere in Israel there is a picture of Baha’u’llah which she described as the only photograph of a manifestation of God on Earth and if you go there you can view it.
“Why don’t you guys just scan it and post it on the internet? That way the whole world can see the Manifestation of God?” I asked.
“It’s a very holy thing” she responded.
That’s a first, I’ve heard of holy buildings, but this is the first time I’ve ever heard of a holy photo. Not only that, photographs decay, all the more reason to scan it.
Another guy came up and the two of them went on a full court press to convert me. Baha’u’llah died a natural death and his son spent forty years in prison until his release and then he toured the world, including the U.S. to spread the religion. Thousands died as martyrs for the religion. They all went peaceably by the way, they didn’t take up arms. They also seem a bit too proud of their martyrs voluntarily going to their execution. Your religion ain’t gonna last long that way.
The religion originated in Iran, but due to persecution moved to present day Israel. The world Baha’i headquarters is in Haifa, Israel. Those poor Israeli’s, they have a fourth religion they have to contend with?
In a little known event of the Iranian revolution, when the Ayatollah Khomeni took power he put all the Baha’i up against the wall as heretics of Islam. Who’s going to notice when you’re executing so many?
Then this splendid creature told me the story of the Bab, the first guy I mentioned. He was sentenced to death by the Shah back then. A firing squad of 750 men was produced, I guess they wanted to be sure. I can’t imagine how you can arrange 750 men to all fire at the same time without them hitting each other somehow. They came to get the Bab and he was dictating his last instructions to his secretary in his cell. He said, “The execution is not scheduled for another five minutes, please give me this time with my secretary and then I’ll go”.
They refused and dragged him out to be executed. The soldiers fired and a huge cloud of smoke obscured everything. Seven hundred and fifty rifles produced a lot of smoke in those days. When the smoke cleared they were shocked to discover that his body was nowhere to be found. I figured he was blown to smithereens, but I was told I was wrong. When they searched around they found him alive and back in his cell with his secretary. He wasn’t ready to go yet.
They had to bring in another group of 750 men to perform the execution again because the first batch were perturbed and couldn’t be enticed to repeat it. This man was obviously from God. The second time they got the execution right.
The beautiful woman looked at me, her face so radiant and her eyes wide after telling the story.
“This is true”, she said, “There were witnesses”.
Oh dear girl, don’t you realize you could have replaced Inga and her heavenly lotions? We could have been so happy waltzing among the stars? And then you tell me I should accept this story? I hide my grief and I turn to leave. Every religion has to have its crazy side, otherwise nobody will believe it.
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