The Indian Head Bob

I’ve gone native, I’m beginning to do the Indian head bob. This is something that drives Americans nuts. Westerners are used to a head nod when the answer is yes and a shake of the head when the answer is no. Clean, clearcut. But in India they do this thing where their head just wobbles around on their shoulders. It indicates ‘yes’, ‘maybe’, ‘I hear you’, ‘you’re absolutely right, but there’s nothing I can do about it so I’ll just do this’, and ‘I think you’re an idiot but you’re my boss so I’ll pretend I’m listening’.

To Americans this vague response is almost offensive. Just answer the damn question.

It’s actually hard for an American to do. Our neck muscles are not trained that way and kind of weak, plus it feels like my brain is sloshing around a bit. Don’t believe me? Try it. Take your head and try and touch your left ear to your left shoulder without lifting your shoulder, then bounce it immediately over your right ear to your right shoulder, then back and forth a couple of times. Now that you’ve figured that out, move your chin in a sideways figure eight pattern. Hah! Not so easy is it? And I bet you’re getting a headache.

I met a Swiss lawyer in the Amazon years ago who described going to India to open up a business. She was in the hotel and she wanted to talk to the manager so she told one of the staff to fetch him.

“Yes, mom (ma’am)” he responded and bobbled. He then went off and got another person who was not the manager. She told him to get the manager with the same result another guy who was just a helper. This happened until she had five guys around her, none of them the manager.

As she described it, “I stood there in the lobby yelling at five bobbleheads while they all just recited ‘Yes, mom’, ‘Yes, mom’. I was ready to scream.”

But I caught myself doing it the other day. Gopi asked, “Want to go to lunch?” and I bobbled my head, “Yes, sir”.